The vast majority of my experience with Unity has been incredibly positive. The culture of positive uplifting spiritual messages fed me for years, as I experienced success and prosperity in so many areas in life. How sad that when the market crashed and life wasn't working....the entire Unity message just didn't seem to work anymore. It even started to sound a bit, well, fake. Those few people that knew of my situation seemed fairly confident that I was creating every circumstance in my life. After all, aren't we all co-creators? And I do believe they wanted it to be about me, because if it is not...then couldn't they experience the same kind of loss? Could they? Anyway, I'm still wrestling with my experience and wonder what it has to offer others. It certainly is a lesson in cultural conditioning. Of that, I can be certain.
I do know that my efforts to seek spiritual counseling in my own church were a dismal failure. I was in spiritual crisis and I just don't think the enormity of what I was experiencing was recognized....perhaps because I was recognized as a very prosperous leader? While I started telling my story....the minister kept trying to move me on to a more positive way of being...really even denying what was going on. Now, I haven't taken Brumet's counseling classes yet, but I do know from my own experience that the ministers role is NOT to change anyone. If people come in the door and ask for help, I'd better have an ability to hear it...perhaps even speak it back...and then find out what the person needs. I'm pretty convinced that the role of spiritual counseling is NOT to jump into a metaphysical discussion of how our thoughts create our world. People in pain do not need to hear that.
I think what surprised me the most about this experience was the unwillingness of a lead Unity minister to hear anything that was not positive. I was actually beginning a rather lengthy process of grieving my losses, and that was not supported. In fact, I was encouraged to move away from any "negative" feelings, so that I wouldn't attract more negative in my life...as if that was going to fix the situation. No, that is not the answer. That is metaphysical malpractice. Fortunately I was smart enough to move on from this attempt at spiritual counseling to find someone that was more qualified. I began talking with Rev. Robert Brumet probably two and a half years ago and have experienced really incredible healing and growth as a result. Without him, I probably would have left Unity a long time ago.
Today, I'm fairly certain I'm one of the best qualified Unity people to counsel someone dealing with pain and loss (minister or not.) I've lived it. Brumet taught me to fully enter my pain, instead of move away from it...and grieve...no matter how long it takes!
As I continue this journey with Unity, I do wonder where I'll end up. Can I teach the prosperity and positivity lessons that served me for so long in my 20's and 30's, or do I need to do something else? Since Unity has been a major part of my life, I seem to live with that polarity on a daily basis now. I need to make a decision about ministerial school...and I just don't know. I am certainly not a pessimist, nor am I an idealistic optimist anymore. Perhaps there is a middle ground for Unity today. I think a more balanced version of Unity is needed to bring these teachings into the 21st century. No more magical thinking and no more metaphysical malpractice! I continue to support the idea of creating an Integral Unity church. That would work for me...I think.
Shawn, I hear that you have experienced the peaks and the valleys of life. I hear that the prosperity books/talks help explain the peaks. I also hear the frustration towards understanding pain and suffering and having to deal with other people's perception of the cause of that pain. We each need to discern what part did I play in the process and what part am I now playing in it. Maybe by doing this we can understand the pain in the "now." We are the Unity thinkers of the 21st century. By being more balanced ourselves maybe we will be a more balanced approach.
ReplyDeleteMelody